The Friendship Factor

5 ways to deepen your relationship:

1. Assign top priority to relationships.
2. Cultivate transparency.
3. Dare to talk about your affection.
4. Learn the gestures of love.
5. Create space in your relationships.
1. Be cautious with criticism.
2. Employee the language of acceptance.
3. Encourage your friends to be unique.
4. Allow for solitude.
5. Encourage other relationships.
6. Be ready for shifts in your relationships.

Five guidelines for cultivating intimacy:

1. Use your body to demonstrate warmth.
2. Be liberal with praise.
3. Schedule leisurely breaks for conservation.
4. Learn to listen.
1. Good listeners listen with their eyes.
2. Good listeners dispense advice sparingly.
3. Good listeners never break a confidence.
4. Good listeners complete the loop.
5. Good listeners show gratitude when someone confides.
5. Talk freely about your feelings.

Five techniques to help you get angry without becoming destructive:

1. Talk about your feelings, not your friends.
2. Stick to the topic.
3. Allow your friends to respond.
4. Aim for ventilation, not conquest.
5. Balance criticism with lots of affection.

Five ways to salvage a faltering friendship:

1. Locate the trouble spot.
2. Apologize when you're wrong.
3. Check to see if your neuroses are spoiling your friendship.
4. Check to see if you employ old methods of relating that no longer work.
5. Check to see if you have an excessive need for approval. 

Source: The Friendship Factor: How to Get Closer to the People You Care for (1979) by Alan Loy McGinnis.